Tuesday, November 17, 2009


That, my dear friends is the number for Poison Control. I know this because, this morning, while getting Rya ready for the day - I unknowingly placed a pea sized dollop of A&D Antibiotic Ointment onto her toothbrush and ..... brushed her teeth with it.

UmHmm. That's right. I poisoned my own daughter in the name of proper dental hygiene.

Look, the tube is the same size color and location as the toothpaste and it just happened OK. The crazy thing is that she did not flinch. No additional whining or flailing - just let me brush her teeth. I only noticed because it has a distinct smell and the instant I caught a whiff I panicked and scrambled to read the tube (which says to keep away from children and if swallowed call poison control). Great. So I called and the lady at the center was really nice. Not judgey at all like I had feared her to be (I mean, what kind of a dumb ass mistakenly brushes her kids teeth with antibiotic creme). Good news is that it turns out you have to ingest at least a half a tube to have an adverse effect.

Crazier still is that fact that, although Rya is an impressive eater with a diverse palette and a never ending appetite, the kid gaged like crazy when I fed her scrambled eggs a week ago. I mean, it totally freaked her out. She would not finish the rest of that meal OR her next meal because of the trauma that scrambled eggs brought forth in her tiny little brain. I had to calmly reassure her for the next few days that each item I placed in front of her was NOT the dreaded ovum she feared it to be.

Not to mention the fact that she will crawl along the floor and, like a hoover, place every last bit of schmegma from her chosen path into her mouth. This includes little nuggets like leaf bits, lint or the occasional (and unavoidable no matter how thorough or frequently one vacuums) cat hair tumble weed. (You all have seen my cat - seriously?!) Yea, Ewwww - is right! And she just chews it like its no big deal while watching me dive across the room to finger scoop it out of her mouth. It amazes me that she is so discerning of foods at times but will gladly ingest HAIR and ANTIBIOTIC OINTMENT like its no big thing.

I admit that I thought twice about telling you all this. But that's what this blog is all about - talking about the dirty underbelly of child rearing. Not all of us are perfect and those that appear to be are well, lying to you. So I hope that someone feels better by knowing that another mother has messed up too.

I know its been a long time since I have written. Do you blame me? I am busy on the phone with life safety providers and chasing around my kid, fishing things out of her mouth. Never fear though. I'm not lacking in material that's for sure. I have a laundry list of blog entry topics to write about to complete this year of our journey together as mother and child. So I will start back from where I left off and get back in the mix. Thanks for sticking with me.


Kristen said...

WELCOME BACK!!! ... and thank you for not feeding her the ENTIRE tube. Also, many kudos for the brushing of the teeth, no matter what pharmaceutical item you use!

Nicole A. said...

I only hope that I can be as good of a mother as you are to Rya to my own children one day.

There is a reason why they put that disclaimer on the tube....because other mom's have made those mistakes too :) Vent away darlin- we love the blogs!!

Auntie Jill said...

Oh Heather we've all made silly mistakes like that. Dont you worry you caught it right away. I remember Zach licked the dedorant and I had a panicked call to poison control. You are the best Mom ever there will be more little mishaps to come. Its part of parenthood.

Anonymous said...

Think of it as a vaccine. You brush her teeth enough times with it, and eventually she'll be able to swallow a whole tube without giving her so much as tummy ache! I wonder which tastes better, A&D or Desitin?

Dana & Keith Newbrough said...

If it makes you feel better, Keith found Samantha holding one of my cross stitching needles the other day, from my hair-bow making adventures. I had a panic attack - vaccummed the floor twice and ran my hand down ever inch of carpet. I am so freaked that I am going to kill my daughter by her chewing on a needle. So now I have barricaded my crafts to the small guest room at night. Being a parent comes with tramas -- trust me!! ;)

Mommy of Princess Tater Tot said...

So happy to see a post from you. Too bad I recognized the number instantly. E ingested a great glob of Curel lotion when she was younger. Turns out not to panic unless it contains sunscreen. yah, I guess when lathering them up in a gallon of sunscreen for the pool we can skip coating their internal organs.

Looking forward to reading more adventures.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone tell you Renee never crawled?She turned out very well.

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