Tuesday, April 7, 2009

LETS TALK BOOBS

Oh yea, I said it....BOOBS. As in breasts, knockers or 'the ladies' (what I call mine).

[NOTE: For all those who are family members, men or others with delicate sensibilities - you might want to sit this one out.]

This post - is a shout out to all the moms out there who once had nice, firm, perky boobs (of any size) who's - after birth (and in my case a brief stint at breast feeding) - are now saggy, soggy, mushy and a mere shadow of their former glory. I'm just going to put it out there - I had some really nice 'ladies' back in the day. So much so that some people had commented that they thought I had undergone a breast augmentation. Truthfully, I never really gave them much thought. I figured, "Hey, they work for me" and there you go. But now....NOW I realize what I had and I miss them terribly.

Every day. Allot. Sniff sniff.

Imagine, if you will, two water balloons (not the small party balloons but the HUGE weather sized ones) with say a cup of water in them, nailed to a wall and hoisted daily by a loose cheap cotton 'sling' ....that you bought on sale at Target in the last stages of your pregnancy - and there you have it. My (and many other beautiful women's) daily struggle. I mean, is it not enough to have all the physical CRAP that comes along with pregnancy, delivery and post pregnancy? Do we REALLY need to know what if feels like to roll over on our sides at night (when the ladies are un-holstered) to have our breast flop over and around our arm? REALLY? I think not. Where is the justice I ask?

So, fellow moms, lets all join in a moment of silence for the loss of the last vestiges of our pre-baby youth, "To perky and firm boobs, may you rest (or, when upright, lie floppily on the upper part of our stomachs) in peace."

5 comments:

JenCase said...

LMAO

Heather G. said...

word sister - word. pass it on to all others who mourn their loss as well. :-)

Krissy said...

OMG, I nearly spit my soda out as I was reading! Soo true! I miss my pre-mommy boobies too. What is horrible is that not only do you get the "two water balloons - with say a cup of water in them, nailed to a wall and hoisted daily by a loose cheap cotton 'sling'"
(in your words) effect but then when that 'sling' is in place, the skin is so stretched out from previous milk production that when forced to sit upright it makes like wrinkly chicken skin. Sooooooo not attractive! Thanks for proving once again, we mommies are not alone in these awful things. LOL

Mary Ann said...

My dear, Thank you so much for reminding me, yet again, how wonderful adoption is and how lucky I am to have become a mommy in that fashion. Sorry you are morning the loss of the perky ladies but embrace, and lift up, the golden girls!!!!
Love ya

Sandi, Pete & Charlee said...

Heather,
I feel your pain...and I am afraid that my are going to be worse after this baby no 2...I look back on pictures BB (before baby) and admire the perky boobs I once took for granted...

Sandi

 
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