My neighborhood is small with a myriad of ranch homes on lots the size of postage stamps. It also hosts a vast conglomeration of empty nesters so, needless to say, we don't have a pool. Something that I feel is important to introduce Rya too in her early years to establish a comfort level with the water that will carry her through many future summers of funky tan lines, clogged ears and chlorine smelling hair. So, we did the next best thing - blew up a tiny inflatable one in the front yard, filled it with hose water, left it to 'bake' a bit, and piled in a heap of bath toys. Turns out she loves the water, even chilly water, but you would not be able to tell it from the incredibly serious look on her face she sported the WHOLE time. For real, the kid was splashing up a storm and it looked like she was the main speaker at a weekend-long insurance seminar. I took serious consideration in her swimming attire. She has the cutest little pink and white striped swim suit but when I tried to do a 'dry run' fitting she went nuts - must hug those curves a little snugly (because apparently my child is HUGE...more on this later). This caused me some pause, I mean, you cant just plop the kid in an inflatable pool in the front lawn in a swim diaper (as my husband suggested), I mean this is not Gymboree Jerry Springer Edition here folks. So I found a diaper cover that I paired with a matching hat and voila - chic swim attire that will have Rya focusing on the activity not the outfit - and, more importantly, will not make us look like the kind of people who consider fully upholstered sofas appropriate outdoor patio furniture.Mike was a bit weirded out that her tiny boobies were not covered - even though I kept saying, "But she is a BABY!", must be a dad thing.
This blog is about motherhood, obviously, but more importantly - the side of being a parent that I think most people don't tell you. You see a family out in the yard in the kiddie pool and pass by with a smile but what it takes to put that scene together and play it out is so much more. The outfit and temperature considerations. The elaborate chirography of applying SPF 1,342 on your tiny, wiggling child's body (including between the rolls on her forearms, yea you read it right, my kid has rolls in places that have never before seen cellulite) - only to have that effort be mocked by puffy red eye allergies later. Or the simple effort of removing your protective hand from behind her back for just a second to displace a swimming suicidal bug with the dreaded result - her falling back into the water - head under and everything. Oh god. That sucked so bad. Mike came around the corner to me holding a screaming child with a (tellingly) soaked head and floppy dripping "chic" sun hat asking me what happened and, "Did her whole head go under?". I lied and said, "No, only up to her ears." Isn't that awful?! I just could not stand the fact I let this crappy thing happen on MY watch.He is no dummy - I am sure he knew what happened but he let it go and sat in one place, silently, vibrating with the inner thoughts of, "NONONO!" when I put her back in the pool, while she was still fussing and talked to her about the importance of 'getting back on the horse' with this forced smile on my face and high pitched lilt to my voice. She was a trooper and we made it through but, dude, this parenting thing can be scary sometimes. Its hard not to feel like a failure when you mess up but I would guess that all parents feel this way at some time or another. And I share so others know that they are not alone in the systematic ruining - oh, did I say ruining, I meant 'raising' - of the new generation.
This stay-at-home-mom thing can do a rigorous tap dance on ones psyche. I vacillate between loving every moment of childhood activity while bearing witness to the discovery of life turn the wheels of my daughters little mind - and the feeling of being caught in my very own "Groundhogs Day" movie where the same thing happens over and over and over......and over. I would never take a second of this back and feel, oddly, lucky to have lost my job because I can do what very few moms get to do - really be here for my little girl every day....but jeeez, I'm only human and it can be a challenge to feel fresh and excited for each new day of the same thing.
Now that I have that off my chest (feel free to judge if you are so compelled). I feel I must say that I am fortunate to have had the time and resources over the years while creating our home. Where we hang out ... EVERY DAY of the week ... ALL DAY ... um DAILY. I have realized now more than ever, I like this place. Its nice. Thought I would post a few pics of one of the most inhabited in our small handful of rooms, the nursery.
Few notes on the details:
Yea, I painted my little GIRLS room blue...SO?! Don't make me bust out with a lecture on gender socialization people. The other walls are pale grey with huge tonal polka dots on them that my fabulous designer friend painted with a stencil when I was so pregnant I was about to burst (I did make her some rockin pasta in exchange though - I'm not running a sweat shop or anything.)
The white chandelier is a vinyl applique from Bilk.
The multicolored artwork is a series I painted for her based off of attributes that Mike and I wish for her to have in her life (love, imaginative, happy, confidence and compassion .... its probably not hard to guess which words I chose and which were my husbands.)
The crib and dresser are from Walmart.....I KNOW right??!! Who knew? I did replace the wooden dowel legs that came with the set to square metal ones though. I was trying to make it look like the Oeuf crib - that we would have had to take a small equity line out on the house to afford.
I scoured online for months to find fabric I liked for my crib bedding and a wonderful friend of mine (my sister through gift) made the sheets for me. The one shown is a raspberry color but we also have one in an orange and white tropical, yellow and white leaf pattern, and pale pink and white damask.
The Ikea shelf is full of books, small toys and goofy photos of us (one where we were on vacation with our snorkels on after a dive trip, and one of us...kissing on our first date. I know, I'm a floozy what can I say.)
My mom and I recovered a tan Target Ultrasuede ottoman with some amazing embroidered felt fabric, and I must say - we did a DAMN good job!!
Mike and I searched high and low for a cool looking rocker (that, again did not cost the same as a four door sedan, from a modern baby website) and I am here to tell you - such a rocker does not exist. So we found this one, the price was right, it looks sleek and swivels back and forth. Something I THOUGHT was going to be equally as soothing to a baby as rocking but was wrong wrong wrong. We ended up in a mad dash to borrow an old beat up rocker my mom had in storage for the first 3 months in an effort to soothe the savage beast. Crisis averted and we are now loving this ones compact size and chic styling without that whole messy 'function' thing in the way.
The table is a clearance find from a modern furniture store that was originally created with open holes in the side for magazine storage beneath. I had some plexiglass squares cut at the hardware store and affixed them inside, added a suede 'handle' to the glass top for lifting and now use it for stuffed animal storage. I would like to think that this small unit will always have enough volume to store our entire cache of stuffed animals but something tells me that I am on crack with that one (a mom can dream right).
